Are You an “I” Seller?

Have you ever noticed how often your sales conversations begin with:

If most of your messaging centers on “I,” you may be what I call a “I Seller.”

And while this style is typical—and usually well-intended—it can be a subtle red flag you may not even realize you’re raising.

Here’s Why This Matters.
Even if you have strong credentials, deep expertise, and proven results, an “I-heavy” approach can quietly turn off a significant portion of your audience. In fact, as much as 50% of buyers based on Int’l research may disengage—not because of what you offer, but because of how you present it.

When the conversation is dominated by “I,” buyers may unconsciously interpret it in ways you never intended:

The Hidden Selling Red Flags

1. Perceived Arrogance
   A self-promotional, “I-centric style” can unintentionally sound boastful or self-serving. Credibility-driven buyers may discount your message quickly—not because you lack expertise, but because your delivery undermines trust.
2. Lack of Safety or Trust
   Security-oriented buyers are often quiet, polite, and agreeable on the surface. But internally, they are asking: Can I trust this person? If your language doesn’t signal partnership or shared accountability, they may simply disengage—and will “ghost” you.
3. Superficiality
   Even when delivered warmly, constant “I” statements can feel insincere to some buyers. What sounds confident to one person may feel shallow or transactional to another.

A Better Approach: Hand-and-Glove Selling
The solution isn’t to stop talking about yourself altogether. Your experience, expertise, and promises matter. Instead, adopt what I call hand-and-glove selling—a balanced approach where “I” and “We” work together.

You appropriately communicate who you are and what you bring to the table, while intentionally integrating “We” language that emphasizes partnership, shared outcomes, and mutual success. So, here’s the question worth asking:

Are your conversations about you… Or about what you and your client can achieve together?
That small shift in language may be the difference between being heard – and being ignored.

John M Ruh and Associates’ introductory offers:

• One free DISC and Sales profile with a 20-minute explanation of the profile.
• Live or group session with you and your team on DISC and sales application, which also includes an introduction to Kurland baseline selling tips.
• Learning the basics of Hand and Glove selling- free introduction.

Interested? Call me at 773-641-9631 or email him at john@johnruh.com.